Tag Archives: South Africa

It felt like teenagers are another species altogether

As a mother of two teenagers, I was always second guessing myself, about whether I was saying the right stuff. It felt like teenagers are another species altogether, until I remembered that I was part of that species not so long ago. Thinking back to those years I vowed I would never be like my parents, I would be cool and never do all the embarrassing things my parents did. Fast forward to 2016 and I sometimes catch myself “being my parents”

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Mothers Relationship with teenager

As the saying goes “If you can’t beat them join them”, so I decided to get back my cool with these new skill sets:

*             The one thing you should never, ever say – “When I was your age”. That just closes down any chance you may have to communicate with your teenager.

*             You need to learn the lingo to be in with the times – we are at a time where everything is going at a much faster pace and shorter attention spans. The lingo of today is acronyms , if you don’t know the meaning of OMG, WTF, ROFLMAO, BRB, then its time you learnt fast.

*             I heard my son say the other day, that if you’re not on facebook you don’t exist. I wouldn’t want to be put into that category, so if you have been ignoring social media, its time you start “existing”. Facebook, twitter and instagram are not going anywhere so if you want to remain relevant, I suggest you start taking a few lessons from your kids. A quick hint, don’t send your kids a friend request on facebook, if they do accept it, but don’t comment on anything they post, its very uncool.

*            Music is like a religion for teenagers, so you know what you need to do right. If your girls are into One Direction or your boys like Nicky Minaj, you have to learn the lyrics, who knows you may actually enjoy it. Quick tip, don’t ever say the music from your generation was better.

*             Pay attention to what you wear, especially when your kids are having their friends around. I also prefer to be comfortable, but it won’t kill you to put on some heels and make up once in a while.

*             Eat with your fingers, burp and use that colourful language when someone cuts infront of you in traffic (when its just you and the kids) they will realize you are human too, and can help to ease tense situations. They’ve already heard and seen everything anyway.

*             Do cool stuff, like trading in that stationwagon for a sportscar, or turn up the volume when their favourite song is on the radio and sing to it.

Make your relationship with your teenager count.

Author : Suyan BudhooLife Coach Pretoria

For detail Information and further guidance Call us at 082 339 8393  or Contact Relationship Coaching Pretoria

Parents nor the children know how to cope with such changes

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It is common to find that the nuclear family has evolved into an extended or complex family unit, with one or both parents remarrying after a divorce. Often times neither the parents nor the children know how to cope with such changes. We continue with our daily lives, hoping that it will sort itself out without there being any confrontations. That kind of mindset is just asking for trouble. Nothing really goes away, depending on the type of kids you have, they will either become very vocal about things or they will suppress their feelings causing distance and a strain on all relationships.

Human beings are creatures of habit and we are most comfortable when things stay the same. Any change in our environment can therefore cause us to behave unreasonably and to even think irrationally. As adults we prefer to find things where we left them, and why shouldn’t we expect our children to feel the same way, after all, kids mirror their parent’s behavior. If things are not the way we left them, we sometimes ‘fly off the handle’, shouting and screaming at anyone who can hear us. This is exactly the way some children react to mummy’s new boyfriend or daddy’s new wife. Not only do things not stay the same, another human being who will take away mummy’s attention and rob them of time with daddy has been added to the mix, obviously they are going to throw their toys out of the cot.

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What then can be done to contain the situation?

  • Include everyone in family chores and activities, your new partner and children need to learn to get along, meal times and picnics could be great for forging relationships.
  • Communication is important, let your kids know that you still love them.
  • Don’t assume anything, children require clear and simple explanations about what is happening, what is expected and what is to follow. They will be more understanding and accepting of the change.

Still having problems managing change at home? Don’t stress, with the help of a relationship coach, together we can easily restore the peace in your home.

Author : Suyan BudhooLife Coach Pretoria South Africa

For detail Information and further guidance

Please Call us at 082 339 8393  or Contact Relationship Coaching Pretoria 

You can choose words like I am strong, happy, wealthy, healthy

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During the month of love, we at Success Focus are focusing on relationships, the relationship with yourself, your loved one’s, colleagues and the rest of the world. Be sure to catch all the articles in this series.

My Relationship with Myself

Whatever comes after the words I am is entirely up to you. You can choose words like I am weak, worthless, depressed, sad and have results such as sickness, depression and even death show up in your life or you can choose words like I am strong, happy, wealthy, healthy and prosperous. As soon as you said those positive words, didn’t you sit up and feel confident, like a waterfall washing over you, leaving you refreshed. I Am, affirmations create a sense that “I Am” worthy and powerful. Nobody should ever forget that they matter in this world.

Nobody can make you feel the way do, except you. So why not choose to live in harmony with the world rather than in resistance. Living in harmony does not mean you have to forget about your uniqueness, it just means that no matter what challenges show up in your life, you will achieve that which is important to you. Use the challenges as opportunities, opportunities to overcome your fears and develop your strength.

As parents we sometimes rob ourselves of loving and caring for ourselves, thinking that our children should always come first, at any cost. By doing this we are turning our children into bullies and self-centred monsters. They will start to believe that they are all important, and mums feelings are not. The world out there will teach them a very different lesson, no matter how special mum thinks they are. Mum’s need for peace and happiness is in no way less than her sons need for playing soccer.

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Life and Relationship Coach Suyan Budhoo South Africa

We are all whole and complete, the only person that can make us feel any less is the person in the mirror. To keep that person in the mirror happy you need to remind yourself daily that God moulded you in his image, shouldn’t you love yourself the way God loved you.

Author : Suyan BudhooProfessional Life Coach Johanesburg

For detail Information and further guidance

Please Call us at 082 339 8393  or Contact Relationship Coaching Pretoria 

The person that embarrasses us infront of our friends

The first relationship we have with another human being is with our mother. She loved us before we were born and apart from God, I doubt there will be anyone else who will love us more. By virtue of this I believe the person that has loved us at first sight is our mother.

During the first few years of our lives, mum’s our doctor, teacher, housekeeper, cook and so much more. Throughout the world when we hear the word MA a feeling of warmth and love envelopes us, like no other word can.

As we get older mum can symbolize, the person that embarrasses us infront of our friends, or tortures us with her unwanted kisses. Even though we may treat her like the scum below our shoes, her love for her children never falters or fades.

Then comes the phase when we believe our mothers are being overprotective or downright selfish when she doesn’t want us to go out with that tattooed guy with the motorbike, ‘just because she never had someone who loved her that way.’ Teenage years can bring with it mixed feelings between a mother and her child, if not handled properly it can destroy the relationship forever.

When we ourselves become parents that’s when we realize how cruel we had been to our mothers, or do we?

Sometimes the rift between mothers and daughters can lead to lifelong separation and hurt. Ma, being the Universal word for love can never be reduced   nor can it be destroyed. A mother’s heart is the pulse of energy of compassion and protection.

At no time should we allow ourselves to be sucked into a vacuum, empty and void of our mothers love. Oftentimes the only thing destroying relationships are our egos. When we move past our egos and are able to apologise and forgive freely, then only can we love like only a mother can.

Author : Suyan BudhooLife Coach Johannesburg

For detail Information and further guidance

Please Call us at 082 339 8393  or Contact Relationship Coaching Pretoria 

Children’s educational, recreational or spiritual lives

Dad, a girls first superman and a boys first James Bond, maybe that’s taking it a little too far, nonetheless you get the picture. Fathers, in the past have been portrayed as that man that leaves for work early in the morning and returns late, usually sitting infront of the tv or behind a newspaper. They did not play a major role in their children’s educational, recreational or spiritual lives, however their role seems to have changed over the past few decades.

Fathers now play a more active role in their children’s education, attending school meetings, helping with homework and even playing chauffeur. Perhaps circumstances, with both parents having to work, forced these added responsibilities onto them or could it be that they are genuinely interested?

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Parents and Kids Relationship

Whatever the reason, this new age dad is just the answer to today’s social problems. Studies have shown that children living with both parents are emotionally more stable and display a higher level of confidence than children coming from single parent families. It has also been proven that homes with both parents have better financial stability. Despite all the encouragement from government and civil society, South Africa still sits with the dilemma that only 33% of children under the age of 5 come from homes with both parents living together.

Whether it is because of divorce or people just deciding not to marry, the truth is, children need their fathers to be part of their lives. It is important for a father to provide financially for his children as well as to have contact time, physical affection, day-to-day involvement and supportive communication.

The type of relationship a child has with his/her father can determine the kind of relationship he/she will forge with their spouse, co-workers and even their own children. Being a good father does not only mean fulfilling the obligations set out by the law. A good father is that man who will stay up late while his son studies for his matric exams or while his daughter completes her art assignment. He is that man who will take his son to the golf course on a Saturday, instead of spending it with his friends and he is that man who will spend an entire day shopping with his daughter for that perfect pair of shoes. At the end of the day, these are the memories his children will cherish of their superhero.

Suyan Budhoo – Life Coach Pretoria

For detail Information and further guidance

Please Call us at 082 339 8393  or Contact Relationship Coaching Pretoria

Material wealth is a basic human necessity

Despite having more comforts than the generations before us, we seem to have less happiness and peace than our predecessors. Living a fulfilled life sometimes sounds like an unobtainable myth. Self-development is the only answer.

Self-development is not a new concept and can be found in the relics of every religion on earth. Today I will attempt to combine ancient wisdom with modern relevance to give you some pertinent advice on how to live a more fulfilled life.

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Because we do not live on this earth alone it is important that we have a code of honour, dignity and respect towards ourselves, our fellow human beings, and all other living beings. It is the basis of individual progress and social welfare. Righteous conduct develops character.

  • Material Wealth

Material wealth is a basic human necessity. Without material security we cannot keep our body and soul satisfied. One cannot have thoughts of emotional and spiritual growth if his material needs are not fulfilled.

  • Satisfaction of legitimate desires

Desires when unrestrained lead to disintegration of the body and mind, yet when suppressed , create an unhealthy state of body and mind, making life drab. What then is legitimate desire? Pursuit of wealth and enjoyment, unless guided by righteous conduct, can make a person greedy and selfish.

  • Freedom of Spirit

The quest for freedom is what distinguishes a human being from other creatures. Freedom is the ultimate goal of life. A man lives a fulfilled life when he discovers that his soul is the soul of all living beings and things, and that his happiness and peace depends on the happiness of all.

Self-development is an inner maturity which comes during the course of time and with experience. No one can give these experiences to us, they come to a person who is ready to face life’s challenges. Self-development is a life-long process, it is learning from the successes of others as well as from their mistakes. An old proverb says “Learn from others mistakes, because you cannot live long enough to make all the mistakes” .

Contact us if it’s unstoppable success you desire.

Success Focus – A Spiritual Speaker Pretoria
103 Queenswood Galleries,
1180 Whittle Lane,
Queenswood, Pretoria
Cell : 0823398393
E-Mail: suyan.budhoo@yahoo.com
info@successfocus.co.za
http://www.successfocus.co.za/coaching/spiritual-coaching/

What is Financial Coaching?

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People are emotional about themselves and their money. There is never a one stop solution for meeting all client’s goals. Each client is unique and every action plan is tailor made.

At Success Focus we listen to our clients and gauge an understanding into their    history and approach to money. An approach to life often reveals the answers and lays the foundation for financial coaching.

By understanding what our client’s need we form a relationship that goes a long way, by being part of their financial decision.

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What is Financial Coaching?

A Success Focus we empower our clients through healthy and open discussion to visualise their personal financial landscape.  We help our clients visualise the difference between needs and wants. Knowing the problem is almost solving the problem itself.

A plan that does not meet the emotional needs of an individual or family is bound to fail or get discarded. At Success Focus we believe in creating a set of implementable actions rather than preaching or moralising to our clients about their financial well-being.

We keep your clients focused on what is important to them, confront financial fears and eradicate irrational fears attached to their relationship with money.

Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once”

 – Napoleon Hill

Author

Suyan Budhoo Contact : 082 339 8393

Financial Coach Pretoria and Johannesburg

A PLEA FOR PEACE IN SOUTH AFRICA

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Spiritual SpeakerSuyan Budhoo

It fills my heart with pain and hurt that we even have to speak about xenophobic attacks in 2015, in South Africa, where Nelson Mandela passed the baton to all 52 million citizens to live in peace and unity.

Tata Mandela and so many freedom fighters lived in our neighbouring countries as refugees during the Apartheid regime and were even given Sudanese and Tanzanian passports in order to overcome Apartheid. If it wasn’t for those countries protecting and supporting our freedom fighter, we probably would not even have this democratic nation that we are taking advantage of.

I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s words: “Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.”  It’s the people who were never involved in the freedom struggle themselves that are leading and instigating these Xenophobic attacks. It is a sad day, when people of the same race, religion and continent choose to only see the differences and not the similarities that we possess.

Perhaps it’s because the youth did not have to fight for their freedom that they have so little respect for what they have. Theylack responsibility and it shows in their actions, maybe because freedom has come freely to them. Ask any struggle stalwart or any mother who lost her son, fighting for liberation, if freedom was free? We received our freedom through the blood and tears of thousands of people, respect the blood of our men and women, by respecting the freedom they fought so hard for.

I love my beloved South Africa for the rainbow nation that we so proudly proclaim to be. I am grateful for not having to fight for my freedom. I feel privileged to be living in an open society where our Constitutional rights are protected.  But all this means nothing if we cannot live in peace and harmony in our beautiful country.

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Some of the visions shared by the Parliament of World’s Religions is of a just, peaceful and sustainable world marked by these characteristics:

  1. Religious and spiritual communities live in harmony and contribute to a better world from their riches and wisdom and compassion.
  2. Religious and cultural fears and hatreds are replaced with understanding and respect.
  3. People everywhere come to know and care for their neighbours.
  4. The richness of human and religious diversity is woven into the fabric of communal, civil, societal and global life.
  5. The earth and all life are cherished, protected, healed and restored.
  6. All people commit to living out their highest values and aspirations.

The hope for our future lies in our hands, as our present lay in the hands of our forefathers. Government, religious leaders, countries all around the world are calling for peace, to whose call will you heed?

 Suyan Budhoo
Life Coach JohannesburgSuccess Focus Pty Ltd

SOUTH AFRICAN AMBASSADOR PARLIAMENT OF THE WORLD’S RELIGIONS 2015 PRETORIA, S.A.

Ambassador at Parliament of Worlds Religions

Despite doing your daily affirmations, positive self-talk and mind power exercises

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Mind Power Exercise

I don’t know about you but I feel like I’m being bombarded with self-development and wealth building information from every direction. But what do you when, despite doing your daily affirmations, positive self-talk and mind power exercises, nothing seems to be taking you closer to the life of your dreams, as they promised in the dvd’s.

Do you just give up, or do you persist? Could you have been wrong for buying into all the hype? I have visited this question many times during my lifetime and this is what I came up with. Nothing stays the same. A simple example, we may travel the same route daily, but we never see the same cars as we saw the previous day. We need to accept that change is the only constant. As we adapt our driving to different conditions so too must we adapt our lives to different circumstances that we are faced with.

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In order to face all the spin balls and googlies on a daily basis, there are a few things that can help us stay in the game.

Always expect better days, as I’ve said before nothing stays the same, so if you are having a bad day, chin up, tomorrow can only get better.

A smile can brighten up not only your day, but the other persons day as well, it costs you nothing and yet you are wealthier for sharing it.

Stay positive, if you are going to think, why not think good thoughts. Stress has never solved anything, infact it robs you of your ability to think clearly when there maybe a solution closer than you think.

I am sure you have heard that what you focus on, is what you receive. Instead of focusing on having a successful business or finding a perfect job, you worry about whether you will make it in business or if you will ever find that perfect job. That is why despite, doing all your affirmations and mind-power exercises you are not manifesting the expected results.

In all the self–development courses that I have attended, very few actually speak about relaxing and staying calm whilst you are trying to attract that which you want.

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Self Development Course Pretoria

Unless you can remain calm, you are not going to be able to manifest the results that you want. Our minds can be restless and can rob us of the peace that we deserve. It can make us feel insecure and incapable, if we let it, however once you learn to control that negative chatter that creeps in now and again, you will achieve all that you deserve.

My advice to you, when nothing seems to be going your way, persist… http://www.successfocus.co.za

Every business requires that Management plays a critical role in ensuring businesses achieve

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Every business requires that Management plays a critical role in ensuring businesses achieve strategic effectiveness by developing this resource.  At Success Focus we will enable HR consultants and managers to become knowledgeable on a practical level.  Our courses incorporate a module on Labour Law.

Our courses include:

  • The importance of the HR roles and functions within the organisation, including recruitment and selection, training and development, performance management, compliance with legislation and effective management of employee relations.
  • Coaching for peek performance.
  • Approaches to manpower planning.
  • Identify and recognise accomplishments.
  • Fair practise and diverse workforce management practices.
  • Overview on Basic Conditions and Employment Act (BCEA) and Labour Relations Act (LRA).
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Business Achievement

After attending our courses you will walk away with:

  • An understanding of key levers available to Managers;
  • Knowledge of relevant theories related to Human Resource management;
  • Understanding the importance of correct recruitment for staff retention and talent management.
  • Implementing performance management strategies.
  • Compliance with the LRA insofar as discipline and dismissals are concerned.
  • Implementing effective people acquisition strategies.

Our courses will benefit:

  • Newly appointed HR managers
  • HR Practitioners
  • HR Officials
  • HR Supervisors
  • HR Administrators
  • Members and Staff of SMME’s

For information on these and other training events, contact us on info@successfocus.co.za

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